[robbowmans]

MY SISTER JUST GOT HIT ON BY THE CHEF AT THE RESTAURANT WE’RE AT VIA THE WAITRESS I’M DYING

[robbowmans]

THE WAITRESS GOT MY SISTER’S NUMBER FOR THE CHEF AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GUSH ABOUT HIM TO MY SISTER AND THEN A SECOND WAITRESS DID THE SAME AND THEN THE FIRST ONE TOLD US MY SISTER WASN’T ALLOWED TO ORDER DESSERT BECAUSE IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF AND THEN HE MADE HER A TASTING PLATE OF EVERY DESSERT ON THE MENU AND THEN HE CAME OUT AND HE WAS SO NERVOUS AND IT WAS REALLY SUPER SWEET.

[hebavsreason]

More men should present dessert plates when trying to hit on a woman. 

Shout out to the people with mediocre talents

[intricative]

The people who can carry a tune but don’t have a remarkable voice

The people who can draw more than stick figures but can’t develop their own style

The people who have a decent imagination but no idea how to write it all out (or vice versa)

The people who can play covers of songs but can’t write their own music

The people who can dance with choreography but not freely

The people who can do sports but never make the team

The people who are good- that just don’t feel good enough

[international-idjits]

I didn’t know how much I needed this until now

[stayingwoke]

LOVE

[tranquillust]

“That Will & Jada kind of love”…

[sonoanthony]

“i was mad that one year” if this ain’t my level of pettyness idk what is lmao

[claraccoon]

So a teacher in my friends’ class told them he had grounded his daughter for wearing make up at school, and turns out that the next day every single girl in class had slapped the brightest blood red lipstick they had and there was a line in the bathroom to apply knife sharp, enormous curves of winged eyeliner on everyone and they looked like a legion of warrior goddesses on their way to avenge their sister, so when the teacher came in the room his face just FELL and he kept avoiding the girls staring at him during class, so they started raising their hands and asking questions about the subject to force him to look at them, and if you don’t think girls are amazing when they get down to battle you are missing out on something glorious

[disneyismyescape]

Is Simba actually a metaphor for The Dress?

[clubhousemouse]

UGGGGHHHHHHHHH

[elionking]

this is the only one i will reblog

People who were raised in terrible homes and bad situations and still turn out to be good people…. they are the real heroes.

(via deeplifequotes)

[psyducked]

do you ever wonder how many people have had a crush on you and never told you

[thekneegrope]

#no i’m glad they didn’t say shit i don’t have time for that i have tv to watch

[it-will-be-okay-eventually]

[onlylolgifs]

Polymer balls that are invisible in water

[werewarg]

IMAGINE PUTTING LIKE 10 IN SOMEONE’S BATH AND THEY GET IN THEY JUST START FREAKING OUT BECAUSE ‘THERES SOMETHING TOUCHING ME BUT THERES NOTHING IN THE FUCKING WATER WHAT THE FUCK’ OMFG

[bogleech]

you’re not thinking big enough

make them in the shape of people with huge long fingers and hide one in every swimming pool in America

[grandegarlic]

please calm down satan

[katiemcgrath]

❝ There had been no photographs during Arthur’s lifetime, and the picture in Merlin’s memory had been damaged with the frailty of time.  Its discolored yellow hue overwhelmed the shade of Arthur’s hair, as everything gold eventually lost its luster.  Its lightening bolt tears and white creases from being folded and unfolded had warped the hard line of Arthur’s jaw and the curve of his grin.  Its blackened, sun-faded blotches obscured his eyes.  They may have been the same blue as the sky, which had been overcast for so many years Merlin could no longer recall. ❞
^{© [ written by colinmorgasms ] | [ inspired by x &nsfw ]}

Traditional Celtic marriage vows, better than anything I’ve ever heard:

[merlins-total-turnip-head]

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannot command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

[weaponsgoddess]

Curious about the source but I love this none the less! ❤️

[merlins-total-turnip-head]

source